When the lock down started, I was pissed off in the beginning. Angry at having to do so much of work when you are continuously seeing that there are some who are basically having a vacation. Whereas you are continuously juggling between housework and office work. I also wanted a vacation, to chill, to watch Netflix. I didn’t like the extra work at all.
But that’s the point of isolation that even if you are irritated, angry or pissed off you have to keep it to yourself. Because you don’t have anyone to hear you rant. For how much time can you call your friends and family and complain about things. They are also having their own problems and you don’t want them to stop picking your calls after some time. So, after being angry, irritated and pissed off comes the period of self-reflection.
I started noticing other people and what I observed surprised me. I noticed that there are people who are working more than me and yet they don’t complain. Initially, I was totally unable to understand why would anyone like to do so much work. Do they do it because they need more money? In some of case yes, money is always a factor that pushes you to work hard. But that’s not the only factor. There are people who are doing well financially but still they work hard day-in day-out and yet loving it. And these are the people who baffled me. After observing them more closely I sense to notice a pattern. They work hard because they love what they do, they care about something. So, I analyzed ‘Do I not love what I do? Do I not care enough?’. And the answer is YES. I don’t love what I do. I don’t care enough.
So, now what should I do. Should I find out something else that I love to do? Should I change my career stream? How people love the things they do? Do they always get to choose to do things that they love or they start loving what they do eventually? I was lost in questions. But surprisingly all the answers are always within us.
The inspiration you seek is already within you. Be silent and listen.Rumi
I realized why I don’t love what I do. It isn’t because the work is uninteresting. It’s because I am treating it as work. Office work. That is not mine. Something that I have to do for someone else. I don’t care about it. And truly speaking I don’t care about it still. So, what has changed.
Here is what has changed now: I started looking at work from a different perspective. Now I don’t see it as work. I now see what can I learn from this piece of work, whether it’s a technical or soft skill. I started focusing on self-improvement. I set up time and schedule for things like making sure I learn a new thing every day, for reading, for writing. I started focusing on the self. And that I loved. I loved working on myself. I loved improving myself. So, now I no longer complain about working hard. And thus I developed a new mindset for myself thanks to Corona.
P.S.: For people who will call me self-centered narcissist having to complain about working in these hard times when there are people who are basically struggling to get their ends meet. I totally echo with your sentiment and I am doing my part to help this. But here what I am trying to address is the general psychology of middle class working professional. How they can look at this period to do some self-reflection and change their way of living. If I am able to help even one person with this blog then I am grateful and this post has justified it’s purpose.