Mark Manson is a professional blogger and this book was quite a hit in the market with being the #1 NY times bestseller. Now, I had a lot of prejudices before picking this book, I thought that this book is famous because of its catchy title, but I was totally proved wrong and I am so glad that I picked this book.
Now the question is there are so many self-help books in the market, then what does this book offers different from them. If you have read a few of the self-help books, then you know that most of them talk about mostly the same thing in some other words. And after reading those books you mostly know in life that what is the right thing to do in life. But even after this knowledge our life only changes a little bit only, that’s because even though we know what’s the right thing to do we are often blind-sided by our wrong sides. As told by Mark Manson in this book, our brain forms perception based on the values and conclusions we already have. And that’s the reason this book is different. It tells you about your blindsides with no-nonsense. The language of the book is easy and yeah there is a lot of swearing which I think was not necessary.
My key takeaways from the book:
- Pain & loss is inevitable and one should stop resisting them. It’s ok to feel sad and anxious sometimes
- Happiness is not a solvable equation. When you solve one problem, another problem appears and it’s never-ending. To be happy means to solve problems that you love. Happiness is not a state but it is in action.
- People deny their problems because it gives them an escape and hence a temporary high. Negative emotions are basically a call to action
- Find what you are willing to struggle for? What is the pain that you want in your life?
- Your problems are not unique. Others have faced the same problem or will face in future
- Being average is OK. One who becomes exceptional is because they know they are average and they keep working on improvement
- Our values define the metric by which we measure ourselves. So, choose your values well. Keep asking questions about what you are doing and why you are doing
- You can’t control what happens to you but you can control how you respond
- People/circumstances can be blamed for things but they are not responsible for your happiness
- Don’t victimize yourself
- We always assume we know the ending. Certainty is an enemy of growth. One who knows everything learns nothing
- Keep discovering yourself every day. Never consider yourself a master or a failure. Measure yourself by mundane identities
- We don’t succeed until we are willing to fail. Pain often makes us stronger
- When you are faced with problems are you don’t know the solution, don’t sit on it. Start doing something, the solution will eventually hit you
- To value X, we must reject non-X
- People in strong relationships have strong boundaries. They don’t take the responsibility to solve their partner’s problem. They are just there to support them
- A healthy relationship means being honest and able to take rejection. Conflicts are both normal and necessary
- Commitment gives you more freedom because now you are not distracted by something unimportant and frivolous